It’s awards season and the most irrelevant of all awards, the People’s Choice Awards has unveiled this year’s batch of nominees. The award is irrelevant, not because you the people don’t matter, but because you’ve already voted with your ticket purchases. Congratulations, The Dark Knight is your favorite movie of 2008. Now you can vote for it yet again by going to pcavote.com. Here’s the full list of nominees, with my unavoidable, mostly useless commentary:| FAVORITE MOVIE: The Dark Knight Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Iron Man Gutsy of them to nominate a rape movie. FAVORITE COMEDY MOVIE: 27 Dresses Get Smart Mamma Mia! At least one of these movies is not a comedy, and two of them are not funny. Poor Forgetting Sarah Marshall. FAVORITE MOVIE DRAMA: 21 Eagle Eye The Secret Life of Bees Only one of these movies has actually been seen by a large number of people, and it’s not a drama. FAVORITE FAMILY MOVIE: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian Kung Fu Panda WALL-E Skadoosh! Maybe the Pixar cult will at least let Kung Fu have this one meaningless award. FAVORITE INDEPENDENT MOVIE: The Duchess Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day The Secret Life of Bees The people have already voted in this category. They have voted with their wallets not to watch indie movies. FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE: The Dark Knight Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Iron Man Hey, these nominees look familiar. FAVORITE CAST: The Dark Knight Mamma Mia! Sex and the City Dead man, bad singing, or slutty women. You decide. FAVORITE ON SCREEN MATCHUP: Christian Bale & Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight Shia LaBeouf & Harrison Ford - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Tina Fey & Amy Poehler - Baby Mamma SNL people against action movies... hmmm. FAVORITE FEMALE MOVIE STAR: Angelina Jolie Keira Knightley Reese Witherspoon Name three women whose movies no one has seen this year but everyone wants to bang. FAVORITE MALE MOVIE STAR: Harrison Ford Robert Downey Jr. Will Smith Name three men who have been in movies everyone has seen this year. FAVORITE MALE ACTION STAR: Christian Bale Robert Downey Jr. Will Smith Vote for the big black bat, the white black man, or the real black man. FAVORITE FEMALE ACTION STAR: Angelina Jolie Anne Hathaway Cate Blanchett None of these women were in action movies this year. FAVORITE LEADING MAN: Brad Pitt Christian Bale Mark Wahlberg Unless you count Mark Wahlberg Talks to animals, when was the last time Marky Mark lead anything? The plants were the stars of The Happening, and the slo-mo was the star of Max Payne. FAVORITE LEADING LADY: Anne Hathaway Kate Hudson Queen Latifah Anyone else getting the impression that Anne Hathaway was the only female star worth watching in 2008? FAVORITE SUPERHERO: Christian Bale as Batman/Bruce Wayne Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man Will Smith as John Hancock Sucks to be Edward Norton. FAVORITE FUNNY MALE STAR: Adam Sandler Jim Carrey Steve Carell Steve Carell is the only nominee with no talent. |
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